Because I Wanted To

There has been a trend going around about people, especially young girls, either shaving or dying their hair. I am proud to say that in my quarantine boredom I have accomplished both. First, I dyed the tips of my hair red on a whim one night. Then one of my best friends, and fellow senior, Gwendalyn Waggoner both decided to shave our heads together, and I must say, we both made the right decision, because we both look quite good.

At first, I was afraid I would come off looking too boyish or androgynous looking and people would judge me for it. But then after careful consideration, I asked myself, “Since when do I care what people think about me?” I have never been the one to change my appearance or beliefs to fit the idea of what they “should be” or what others should think. Many who have seen me walk down the halls of my high school would attest that I am not one to follow trends, “because everyone else likes them,” and that I wear clothes that most would be too afraid to wear out of fear of rejection or judgement from their peers. I have been told on many accounts that “I am brave for my choice in clothes and how I carry myself.” I am quite a confident person and when I realized that I do what I want when I want, within reason, I decided the hair had to go.

I love reading quotes because they put my thoughts into glorious poems that my brain does not have the capacity to create all by itself. I love reading quotes that are empowering and build self-confidence. It all must come from somewhere and these words are my somewhere. These quotes tell me a variety of truths. They tell me that I am beautiful and deserving of the world’s love, even when I don’t feel it. 

“She is what the world loves to hate- pure, authentic, tested, and brave. And that is why her kind will save this world.” (Johnny Nguyen) They tell me that even though not everyone is going to like who I am or how I present myself, that is not my problem because I will still choose to be kind and genuine despite it. 

“She was beautiful, but not like those girls in the magazines. She was beautiful, for the way she thought. She was beautiful for the sparkle in her eyes when she talked about something she loved. She was beautiful, for her ability to make other people smile even if she was sad. No, she wasn’t beautiful for something as temporary as her looks. She was beautiful, deep down to her soul. (F. Scott Fitzgerald) They also tell me that I am so much more than a face, and a body, and a head full of hair. 

These quotes help me realize that the only opinion of me that I need is mine and that I am good enough and that has made all the difference in my view of both myself and of the rest of the world. So, I will continue wearing my hair and my clothes the way that I want to simply because I want to.